How to beat Dallas dating app burnout, according to an expert
Set your intentions, set parameters, and keep it fun.
Sophia Dembling
December 11, 2023
Who knew swiping left and right could be so exhausting?
“Burnout is real,” says Rachel DeAlto, Chief Connection Officer of Match Group, the Dallas-based company that owns and operates most of the big online dating services, including Tinder, Match.com, OkCupid, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, OurTime, and others. DeAlto’s domain is “all things dating,” and she knows the pitfalls people fall into in their online quests for love. She has these tips for staying in the Dallas dating scene.
Know what you’re looking for
One of the best ways to burn out is to just swipe willy-nilly without a clear idea of what you’re seeking. “People often don’t set an intention,” DeAlto says. “They’re on, they’re searching, they’re messaging, but they’re not really sure who or what they’re looking for,” she says. “I mean, I love Marshall’s and T.J. Maxx, but I need to go in there knowing I am looking for a blue top, or else I’ll end up leaving with, I don’t know, some shampoo, a chair, a sleigh … The first step for anybody going online is to make sure you have some idea of the qualities you’re searching for.”
This means deciding on your non-negotiables. Are you looking for someone kind, intelligent, and ambitious? “Try to stick to four: a solid short list of those things that really matter to you,” DeAlto advises. “Keep it open enough for a little bit of magic to come in. If you have that intention, you’re reading with those goals in mind and are able to filter things that way.”
Step outside yourself
Being clear on your intentions will also help you present yourself in a way that might attract what you’re looking for. “People often don’t think through the outside perception of themselves,” she says. “It’s one thing to write your profile, and it’s another thing to put yourself in the shoes of the people who are viewing it. Think about the person you want to meet, the person you want to sit across the table from. What do you think that person is looking for?” By doing this, you’ll have a better chance of hearing from people who might be remotely interesting to you, eliminating some of the tiresome static.
Don’t sweat rejections
It’s easy to burn out on rejection — in both directions. Being rejected is hard, of course. But having to do the rejecting — as you must at times, and often to perfectly nice people who just don’t do it for you — also takes a toll on the psyche.
“It’s challenging,” DeAlto concedes. “I don’t think anyone seeks to hurt someone’s feelings, but you want to be absolutely honest in the kindest way possible. You don’t have to explain exactly why you’re not attracted to the person; you can just say it’s not right.”
Perhaps surprisingly, DeAlto has mixed feelings about ghosting. Yes, it hurts when it happens to you, but it also can be an efficient way to escape a suboptimal situation. “I don’t think you owe anyone anything,” she says. “I also understand — and I’ve been working in this industry for a decade now — that there are some people who handle rejection very poorly. I think you should provide people with the level of energy they deserve.” So, if you suspect the person will not go too softly into the good night, ghosting is a viable option. Even blocking as necessary.
Keep the energy equation in mind when you get ghosted, as well. “It’s not typically someone who deserves a lot of energy on your part.”
Don’t exhaust yourself with abundance
One of the biggest pitfalls of our swipe-ity culture is the sense of abundance that causes us to always look for better. “Thirty years ago, you didn’t leave your first date with someone and say, ‘Let me get back online and see if there’s someone better,’” says DeAlto. “My plea for all dates is that if you are remotely attracted, remotely interested, give them another shot.” Maybe your date had a bad day, a toothache, or was just plain nervous; if they fall in the realm of possibility, take a second look before you start swiping again.
In fact, too much swiping, in general, contributes to burnout. If you’re spending hours a day on the apps, rethink it. “I would advise setting parameters,” says DeAlto. “It’s the law of diminishing returns. Instead of spending hours daily searching and messaging, make it 15 minutes.”
Time limits will ease frustration and keep the quest for love in perspective as part of life, not your entire life. The dating apps should be fun, exciting, and hopeful, and if you reach the point where it feels like work and is frustrating, it might be time to step away, take a breather, and regroup. “It doesn’t have to become a part-time gig.”
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Dallas’ culinary time capsules: exploring the city’s most enduring restaurants
From classic American eateries to authentic international flavors, these Dallas restaurants have stood the test of time.
Dallas is a city with a rich history and tradition, and its culinary offerings are a testament to this. Amidst the ever-evolving food scene, there are numerous timeless institutions that have been serving up delectable meals and creating cherished memories for generations.
In this journey through the heart of Dallas, we’ll explore some of the city’s long-standing restaurants. From classic American diners to upscale Mexican cuisine, these establishments have been constants in a city of change, offering a taste of history and a glimpse into the past. We’ll discover the stories behind these iconic eateries, their enduring charm, and the mouth-watering dishes that have made them beloved by residents for decades.
Dairy-ette
9785 Ferguson Rd Dallas, TX 75228
After more than six decades, Dairy-ette has become a Dallas institution, serving up classic diner fare that’s sure to take you on a trip down memory lane. Whether you choose to drive up or step inside, Dairy-ette’s burgers, fries, and milkshakes will transport you to a bygone era of car hops and wallet-friendly prices. It’s a testament to the timeless appeal of good old-fashioned American food.
Arthur’s Steakhouse
15175 Quorum Dr, Addison, TX 75001
A true Dallas legend, Arthur’s Steakhouse has been dishing out delicious steaks and a charming environment since its inception in 1948. Although it has changed locations a few times, its unwavering commitment to serving top-notch food remains constant. You’ll find yourself immersed in the delightful, slightly kitschy ambiance that adds to the unique charm of this iconic steakhouse.
Keller’s Drive-In
10554 Harry Hines Blvd, Dallas, TX 75220
Keller’s Drive-In is a true Dallas time capsule, serving delicious burgers for over half a century. The setting is a nostalgic throwback, and they’ve stuck to their winning formula since day one. Roll up in your car and order their iconic No. 5 special, a double-meat burger with lettuce, tomato, and Thousand Island-style dressing on soft poppy-seed buns. Just be sure to have a napkin handy as you savor every bite of this classic burger experience.
Javier’s
4912 Cole Ave, Dallas, TX 75205
Javier’s, a Park Cities staple since 1977, captivates diners with its upscale Mexican cuisine, impeccable service, and potent margaritas. Don’t forget to visit the cigar room adorned with taxidermy for a post-dinner drink. Javier’s has remained a beacon of fine dining in Dallas for decades, providing a delightful fusion of Mexican flavors with a touch of elegance.
Royal China
6025 Royal Lane #201 Dallas, TX 75230
Royal China should be at the top of your list if you’re looking for authentic Chinese and Taiwanese cuisine in North Dallas. Since 1974, this Preston Hollow establishment has been serving delicious dishes made from scratch, including their famous soup dumplings. You can even watch the skilled chefs pull noodles at the bar. Royal China’s commitment to quality and tradition has earned it a cherished place in the Dallas dining scene for almost five decades.
Sonny Bryan’s
Two locations
Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse was established in 1958 by Sonny Bryan himself. Although Sonny Bryan is no longer with us, his legacy lives on through the Harman family, who have maintained the original location’s charm and innovation. Today, you can indulge in an array of smoked meats, classic sides, and even opt for barbecue catering to experience a taste of history at your doorstep.
Burger House
6248 East Mockingbird Lane Dallas, Texas 75214
Burger House is a beloved institution in Dallas that has been serving delicious burgers since 1951. The restaurant has a devoted following and is famous for its double cheeseburgers, topped with grilled onions and served on a sesame-seed bun, along with its irresistible fries. Despite the passage of time, the eatery’s commitment to preparing burgers, fries, shakes, and malts the traditional way has remained unchanged.
Kuby’s Sausage House
6601 Snider Plaza, Dallas, TX 75205
Kuby’s Sausage House is a German restaurant and European market nestled in Highland Park, offering fine cuts of meat and distinct comfort food. Its story began in 1961 when Karl Kuby hoped to introduce Texans to the flavors beloved by his family for generations. The restaurant has a diverse menu that includes a range of traditional German dishes, such as schnitzel and wurst bites.
Dunston’s Steakhouse
Two locations; included in this list: 5423 W Lovers Ln, Dallas, TX 75209
The moment you step into Dunston’s, the aroma of burning mesquite wood welcomes you to a dining experience like no other. Dunston’s has been grilling steaks over an open-pit grill since 1955. The atmosphere is warm and inviting, with wood-paneled walls adorned with memorabilia. From the iconic salad bar (it’s really good) to the hearty chicken-fried steak smothered in peppery white gravy, Dunston’s delivers a taste of Dallas history. Don’t miss their 10-ounce prime rib, cooked to perfection. (And make sure to book a table in the back room.)
Jimmy’s Food Store
4901 Bryan St, Dallas, TX 75206
Jimmy’s Food Store has been an East Dallas staple since 1966. Since then, it has transformed into Dallas’ most beloved Italian market and deli. The store is renowned for its giant made-to-order sandwiches, but it’s also a treasure trove of imported Italian delights — from fresh pasta and sweets to Italian wines.
El Fenix
Multiple locations
El Fenix, a Dallas institution known for its strong margaritas and delicious Tex-Mex fare, was founded in 1918 and celebrated its 105th birthday in September. With this kind of history, it has earned a well-deserved place in the Dallas dining hall of fame. With multiple locations throughout DFW, visiting this staple near you is easy.
The Old Warsaw
2512 Maple Ave, Dallas, TX 75201
The Old Warsaw has been a symbol of vintage charm in Uptown Dallas since 1948. While it has modernized over the years, the restaurant’s latest renovation in 2016 ushered in a new era while preserving its classic charm. Expect prime filet mignon and lobster Thermidor served in a glamorous setting. It’s a destination for those seeking a touch of elegance and fine dining.
The Zodiac
Level Six 1618 Main St. Dallas, TX 75201
This restaurant has served as a beloved lunchtime hotspot in the iconic Neiman Marcus store Downtown since 1953. Come for the legendary mandarin orange soufflé and stay for a stroll around the shoe department.
There’s so much to love (and eat) around DFW. Find your new favorite by subscribing to the Localite newsletter.
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Nearby Cortland Locations
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Feel the holiday magic at these 6 Atlanta bars, restaurants and pop-ups
When you want to feel the holiday spirit all around you, head to these spots.
‘Tis the season! The holidays have arrived, and Atlanta is in full, festive swing. If you’re ready for twinkling lights and holiday cocktails, we have compiled a list of restaurants and bars that transform into a winter wonderland during the holiday season. The city truly goes all out, so plan to make reservations when you can — these destinations are in high demand. See below where you and your loved ones can enjoy the holiday season to the fullest.
Après Ski at Ranger Station
Though Atlanta doesn’t have slopes, you can still enjoy the après ski (or after ski) spirit to embrace chilly weather and adventure. Look no further than Ranger Station, a bar that embodies the heart of the great outdoors and hunting lodges. Located above Ladybird Grove and Mess Hall on the BeltLine, Ranger Station is pulling out all the stops this holiday season with Après Ski, a retro holiday-themed bar complete with festive decor, fondue, and a range of holiday-themed cocktails. No reservations are needed for this pop-up, which kicks off on Dec. 1.
Miracle Bar Atlanta at Tapa Tapa
Tapa Tapa at Midtown Promenade is bringing back Atlanta’s original holiday bar, Miracle Bar on Monroe. Fully decked out with floor-to-ceiling decorations and lights, the bar offers a selection of seasonal and Christmas-movie-themed cocktails, celebratory light bites, and cookies. On Friday and Saturday evenings, you can enjoy live music as well. The bar is exclusively for ages 21+ and operates on a first-come, first-served basis. There are no reservations, so make sure you come early. Each bill will have a 20% service charge added to it, and there is a two-hour table limit. Runs through December.
Little Christmas Spirit at Little Spirit
During the holiday season, the Little Spirit cocktail bar in Inman Park transforms into Little Christmas Spirit. The cozy bar will serve various festive drinks in addition to its seasonal fall/winter drink menu featuring wintry favorites like the Mint Condition, with vodka, creme de menthe, cacao, amaro, chocolate chip, and cream. The special holiday experience is available throughout December.
Tiki Holiday at S.O.S. Tiki Bar
This winter, S.O.S Tiki Bar will again transform into a tropical-themed holiday bar, Tiki Holiday — which their website describes as “Xmas in Paradise.” The bar will feature a wide assortment of rum-infused holiday cocktails while you groove to Christmas tunes ranging from surfer rock to crooner Bing Crosby. The menu includes shareable snacks like Reindeer Food (Chex mix with chocolate bits), Cheese Loaf, and the Sad Boi Christmas Dinner. The bar is decorated with colorful string lights, garland, Santa figurines, and plastic reindeer. Keep in mind there’s a 60-minute time limit at tables to help everyone experience the scene and bask in the holiday spirit. Experience this holiday treat through December.
Blind Elf at Blind Pig Parlour Bar
Blind Pig Parlour in Buckhead has transformed into a holiday pop-up bar, The Blind Elf. Enjoy holiday-themed decor, drinks, and bites, including the warm Festivus cocktail and delicious pigs in a blanket. “The Blind Elf Experience” is available for $70 per person and includes two appetizers, two specialty cocktails, tax, and gratuity. The pop-up is open seven days a week through December. Come for the twinkling lights, stay for the holiday cheer!
Igloos & Holiday Social Bar at Ponce City Market
Head over to Ponce City Market’s THE ROOF, where you can savor unique and unforgettable experiences. Try the 9 Mile Station Igloos, which are private, heated domes where you can enjoy a meal amid stunning city views. Each igloo can hold up to six people, so gather your favorite couples or best friends and make a reservation today for one of the two-and-a-half-hour slots.
Apart from the igloos, you can also check out the Holiday Social Bar inside the tower lobby, which is decorated to resemble the North Pole. Sip on a festive drink while enjoying the ambiance of the Santa-inspired decorations. Take advantage of this opportunity to embrace the fun of the season.
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